Hands.

It's crazy, but I always find that I 'journal' (usually it's in my handwritten journal) every year around general conference times. October and April.

Funny how prophets and apostles bring that out in me. I like that.

It has been an emotional week. I did some journal writing, and then I looked at my blog and realized it was just time to do it again. It's been a while.

I went out to Ohio to visit my dear friend from college, Joanna. Her husband had to have emergency open heart surgery and has had severe complications, since. He has been in the ICU since March 21st. It really has been a rough road for Jo. I love her. Dearly!

I spent time babysitting the boys and trying to help out where needed while there this week. I don't feel like I did much for her... I just wish I could have done more! I'm so grateful that I got to see her though and spend time with her family. I'm so grateful that I was able to see in person what she is going through. It's helped me to understand her situation more.

So now when I pray for her, I can visualize her and her reality!

Last night I was able to go to the ICU for the first time with her and see Michael. It was really hard to see him like that. A week or so ago, he flatlined. He has been under sedation since his organs started struggling, and since he stared pulling out all his tubing. They are trying to let his lungs heal and for his organs to function. He is heavily sedated, but can open his eyes if you can get his attention. The eyes stay open for about 10 seconds, and you can talk to him-he can't vocally respond, but he can nod. A few seconds in talking to him his eyes start to haze over, and you have to try to get him to wake up again. Anyways, it was just tough to see him that way. But it was good for me. When I got his attention, I asked him if he knew who I was...he nodded. I was grateful to make that quick connection with him!

My heart opened up in a way it hasn't for a while. I saw Jo massaging his severely swollen hands and I felt a tenderness for life that I haven't felt-ever. I was overwhelmed at the love that Jo was expressing to him and it strengthened me immensely. I cherish those few moments I had in that room with Jo and Michael, and with the Spirit.

Hands. I'm touched by what hands can do. I told Jo that I've always felt-way back when we were roommates at Ricks College 17 years ago-that she had tender hands. Art hands. Hard working hands. Sensitive, sweet hands!

When I saw her hands again this past week and watched her massage, lotion up, and rub his hands, legs, feet, face-and stroke his hair, I just felt the Spirit speak to me...

I loved my trip. I loved being with my Jo!
I love the desire I have to use my hands more tenderly.