Resolve

Well, I didn't get to my blog as much as I had hoped to, but I did have a fantastic Christmas, and thought a lot this month about the true meaning and some "resolve"s I want to make and do...for 2010. The most important one-to find myself spiritually again.

To be close with Him.

To love Him.

And to commit to Him.

So, I have known for quite some time now that I am going to speak in church the Sunday after Christmas, so I've been thinking a LOT about a topic. And I think I've decided to speak on commitment. Not the commitment I hope to make someday with a man, but the commitment I need to make with THE Man.

So that is what my day looks like today.

Pondering, preparing, and writing.

Worn out hands

I have not had a chance to blog whatsoever! Life has gotten so busy these last two weeks, but even though I haven't posted anything, I still have had constant reminders throughout the day of good things...of God, of Jesus, of this wonderful gospel I belong to. I'll just share one reminder that I've had...

While at the gym in the sauna this past week, I had an interesting pondering moment. This lady walked in and sat down and started doing the most amazing stretches I have ever seen. She had just finished swimming, I believe, because she had that 'attire' on. I usually try not to stare at people but I could not take my focus off of her. It was dark, so I couldn't really see her face completely, but I immediately noticed the light on her hands.

They were old, wrinkly, and looked completely worn.

Instantly I knew she was probably in her late 60's, or even mid 70's. But yet she stretched like an athlete! I couldn't believe how flexible this old woman was.

Too get to my point...I just couldn't get over her old worn out hands.

And I couldn't help but wonder...looking at her tired, wrinkly hands...what had this woman been through? What had she overcome in her long lifetime? And how in the world is she still standing (and stretching like a pretzel!)?

And then my thoughts went to the Savior, and how grateful I am that no matter how 'worn out' He was, that He didn't just give up.

That he committed, and finished what He came here to do. And instantly, I was grateful for the experience of seeing this little, worn out old woman--that portrayed such amazing physical strength.

And all of a sudden I felt a desire to change some things in my life and live more fully.

You look like a princess!!

If anything, forcing myself to focus on better thoughts when I feel some knee pain has really helped me to just, well, in general, think about goodness-about positive things throughout the day. I don't necessarily feel like I have to think of something grand "when" I have knee pain, but when I do feel that knee pain, it helps me to remember and reflect on things that have happened throughout the day and channel my thoughts.

To share one small instance from today...

My sister-in-law told me this story while we were eating dinner tonight. She was trying on a dress for a wedding and her little guy, Clark, looked up and said, "You look like a princess!!"

My heart totally melted.

And I thought of little children and how innocent they are. How I have worked in the past 8 years as a teacher with some of the sweetest littles on earth, and how blessed and fortunate I have been.

And to know that Christ loves them triple fold...just tugs at my heart.

I want to love more like him.

And love more unconditionally too.

Miracles.

My students and I did this rock candy crystal experiment a few weeks ago. We've been waiting for it to work, and it just has seemed like it failed. We've been talking about how we weren't sure if we did it right because there weren't any crystals growing yet. I was ready to just tell the kids that it didn't work, and that we needed to clean it all up, and put it away.

Today during Science, I kneeled down on the table to look at them--and, feeling the knee pain like I always do, inwardly grunted, but, like I always do--tried to skip over the pain. And I thought of my December blog post goal-and thought, "Hmmm...could this be a mini pondering moment?"

The students were all looking over at me as I was talking to them about how it just didn't work. And then-I lifted the glasses up and low and behold, there were the crystals. And LARGE ones. I was so excited to tell them that, yes, "Our experiment really did work guys!! Look!!" They all crowded around with their little hand lenses and were "ooohing" and "awwing".

And suddenly I was thankful for a little miracle in my classroom.

And more importantly, suddenly I found myself flooded with quick flashbacks of the many miracles that have happened in my little life...ones that have completely changed my life for the good.

I'm just thankful for all the things that God has done in my life to make my life "experiments" work, so that I can have my own "oooh" and "aww" moments.

And that God continues to make things work in my behalf.

So grateful.

My Rock & My Madi

Day 1 of my little pondering fest...

So I'm focusing on my knee pain when I stand up and walk down/up stairs. Trying to remember during this Christmas season that every time I feel that pain, I think of Jesus, of God, of good things that will remind me to center my life more on my Rock.

Went to work out this morning in the frigid cold...and stair step #2 made me automatically think..."but Jesus suffered more." And I remembered that my pain is so incomparable to His.

And I felt grateful.

Once again, step #3-15 made me think of someone else in my life who is suffering more than me, and my pain is incomparable to hers. My little niece Madi. 12 years old. Awesome soccer player. Broke her leg (tibia & fibia) in her last futsol game. Today she is at Primary Children's Hospital because she's had complications. They can't do surgery on her leg until the swelling goes down, and so, she's been at home.

Struggling through the pain.

She was taken to emergency yesterday due to a low oxygen count, and then rushed to Primary Children's with the possibility of her having a blood clot in her lung. Both lungs collapsed, and her oxygen continues to be low. Poor little Madi. I am praying my guts out for her.

So I reminded myself today, that my pain is nothing compared to others. And I was humbled.

Pondering-ish thoughts

I once taught at the MTC with this teacher. He said there was this car that he really wanted. Badly. And it was around Christmas time. And he was thinking about what he could do to center the season on Christ. He started realizing how much he was thinking about this car, and then decided that from that point on, every time he saw that car, he would think of Jesus.

I'm going to start something on my blog to last through December.

I've been thinking about this for a while now-that I need to be journaling more...getting in touch with God more...pondering more. So, I'm going to try to post daily a pondering-ish thought I had...

About Christ. About God. About things I'm thankful for. About goodness. About blessings.

So I've decided on something that I feel every single day. Something that will remind me to think of Christ more. Like this teacher from the MTC.

My knees.

Still...I have pain. In fact, it's there all day--but at times it's more than at other times. Using the stairs, or standing up from a sitting position. How many times do I do that a day?

...um, like a thousand.

So I figure I will have plenty of times to think of and center my thoughts for the season, on Christ.

I moved! :D

So I have been thinking...I don't have anything to post about.

And then it hit me...what? I just moved!

And I loooove my new place. I moved from Pleasant Grove, back to good 'ole Orem. So happy to be back in this city, and so happy about my new place.

I love it.