Kneeling

Up until the last 8 months or so, I didn't think that kneeling was such a big deal when you prayed.

Of course, I knew that it should be done to show respect to God when you pray, but I just didn't notice what it did for MY prayers. Since struggling the past 3 years with my knees, and more recently and intensely the last 8 months, I've come to realize the importance of kneeling.

I stopped kneeling-because I couldn't...8 months ago. Since then...my prayers have almost been sparse. I wondered why I wasn't praying...and why I have felt a loss of the Spirit. And then I realized how short and insincere my prayers have become (because they have been done lying on my back in my bed-if at all). And then I realized how just at the time I stopped kneeling, my prayers became less and less...and that maybe that is why I have felt this way.

And so, I've come to the conclusion, that kneeling when you pray is not only respectful, but for me--it helps me to focus, be more sincere, and have more of a meaningful conversation with God.

I can't wait to be able to kneel again--whenever this recovery gets better for me!

Lame!

I was just told I won't graduate unless I register for 2 credits-pay $550 bucks.

I was told back in April after I defended my thesis that all was set for graduation and I didn't have to pay any tuition for this semester.

Now they say they never told me that and I have to pay the money by Tuesday.

BYU sucks.

One thing to 'yay' about!

You'd think with a knee scope, you'd just be 'in-and-out', but the pain doesn't really work like that. Especially both knees at the same time.

I'm way sore...and just trying to cope.

It's been difficult to have to rely upon people to get me here and there, to and fro. On top of it all, this was the week that I had to have the finality's of my thesis finished up, so there I was, not even 24 hours after surgery, doped up on pain meds-sitting in the deans office in a wheelchair going over last minute corrections before taking it to the library. Not good timing whatsoever. The emotional breakdown in front of my graduate chair and the dean didn't make a good impression.

I guess that's what pain meds do to ya. It's been a rough week, but hopefully I can do some stairs tomorrow, and head home...where I may be confined to for quite some time until I can master going up and down that set of stairs daily.

I sure hope this is all worth it...but one thing I can say for sure...I am completely finished talking about my thesis--for it is submitted to the library, paid for, and being bound as I speak. It is finished.

That's one thing to 'yay' about!

My first surgery

I had double-knee surgery yesterday! I've never had surgery before and it kind of freaked me out! The doctor did a bilateral arthroscopy, a patella shave, and a release on my knee caps to move them back into place because they've both slid to the left 1/2 inch. Because of the release, he said my recovery time would be increased a bit. Ugh.

Here are some pictures of my day!

Filling out all the paperwork before I go in for the knife!

First time I've had an I.V....gosh that thing hurt! Coming out of Anesthesia-I was completely out of it! It is the weirdest thing to wake up and the last thing you remember is being on the bed and getting rolled into surgery! An hour and 1/2 had passed and it felt like a few minutes!

I am so lucky!!! I'm getting the royal treatment! Shari my sister is being my nurse and doing an awesome job! Here's to a quick recovery--I hope!!

Crystal's Wedding

A few days ago I was able to go to my youngest cousin's wedding...I can't believe she is married. I just realized that I am the last of the cousins on my mom's and dad's side to get married! Maybe I'll catch the bouqet on Saturday at the reception!

The night before the wedding at Texas Roadhouse. I love that place, it's awesome!Grandma lives in St. George...I have so many memories visiting this temple and taking pictures on the steps!I can't believe how hot it was on those stairs! The ceremony was really neat, and reminded me of important covenants I've made and hope to make someday. Congrats, Crystal & Greg! Gail and I laughed a ton! She is my newest sister in law. She did Crystal's hair...and it looked really good! It was great also, to see my grandma and other family members, who I love a ton!!

Addictions...lol!

Ok, so I'm a little bored.

This is what I have been spending my time on.

K so it's not just me, my sisters and sister-in-laws, even my mom and some brothers, nephews, nieces, friends, etc.,etc.,etc., are addicted. So it's called Farm Town--a game on facebook. You earn money and build your own farm. I canNOT get off of it...HELP!! LOL!

Double's trouble?

Looks like it's double knee scope surgery for me.

Ouch.

There goes my summer.

I went to the specialist today, and he showed me the xrays. Both knee caps have moved to the side about 1/2 inch! And the bottom and back of my knee caps, he said, look like shaggy carpet.

Yum! :(

The doctor said that for sure I needed both knees scoped, and they'd do them at the same time. On the bright side, he said the recovery wouldn't be long, and that he'll have me "fixed up in no time". He was very hopeful and sounded like things would be ok.

Here's hoping....July 13th.

"Just Do It"

So I've been working out like mad for the past month...only to once again have my knees act up.

Tomorrow I go to the specialist to see if surgery is what I need...and yes, it's BOTH knees.

Many, many times I have set these fitness goals with high ambition and motivation to "just do it"...and then have had the frustration of injuries--and then I've had to stop doing whatever I was doing so I can heal. The 'fitness dreams' head down the toilet, and then months later I'm back to square one-with muscle atrophy, and more weight to lose, and then I head back up the fitness ladder once again, only to get injured once more.

Arg!

I hate it when bodies get old and don't work like they used to anymore.

Here's hoping for the best--I just really want to run again...and just really want to lose these yucky pounds and feel good again.

Darn it!