Let Him In, Day 18

Good, good family

I have a boy in my class who does everything for me-Jared. Every single day after school he stays and wants to have daily jobs--he cleans, organizes, and talks to me. It's hilariously cute! And no, he doesn't have a crush on me, he just is generally like that--and comes from a family like that. Here's proof...

I was attending the Kindergarten program with my class and I saw the cutest thing happen. Jared's sister was in the program so I thought I would watch her a bit. She was standing next to this little boy who was really short and tiny. Every time they switched songs or had speaking parts or had to put on a "prop", she would help him. And I thought-that is totally JARED!! And it wasn't just a little help here and there...she helped him the entire time with every single move!!!

He must just come from an amazing family. I met his mom today....and found out I am right.

Seems to me that this little family really Lets Him In-constantly. What an example to me.

Let Him In, Day 17

I have a nephew whom I think is amazing.

He got married yesterday-and the sealing was so awesome.

I've never been to a sealing quite like that before. The sealer spoke specifically about ordinances in the temple. I learned so much just listening. But I think I learned even more just watching McKay. He's always been a person that has paid attention to little details...and I've always loved that.

As the sealer spoke to him about how he should cherish his wife, I couldn't help but think of what an amazing man McKay is...and how I know he will follow everything to the "T"...you could see how intently he was listening, and taking mental notes.

I enjoyed being in the sealing room--and am so happy for McKay and Jennifer. I enjoyed seeing tears in his deep blue eyes and I couldn't help but think of the importance of being worthy in the temple...in the Lord's house...and how good it was to be there. I felt close to HIM today.

Let Him In, Day 16

A never ending nightmare

All I can think about lately is how much I despise my thesis.

I had this little conversation with my nephew and his wife today, and, once again, was asked, "So, are you finished yet?"

And once again, I had to say, "No".

It feels never ending--and, in reality, it is. It think my biggest struggle in Letting Him In today is that I have fought and fought and fought about spending time writing-and have forgotten to pray and pray and pray about writing.

I need to pray for motivation, desire, and gusto to get this finished by the first week of March.

So, I'm going to let Him help me...and praying is a start :) Can you pray, too?

Let Him In, Day 15

Thankful

I was at a class program today and cried-in front of my kids. I've never been touched like that before at work.

As a class we mentor/peer tutor one of the students in the special needs class at our school. His name is Cory...and he is an amazing little boy. He has several mental handicaps that prevent him from a lot of things--but he has the biggest heart and spirit I have even seen/known in my life.

At the end of their program they showed a video they had put together of pictures of all the kids throughout the year put together with a song from Josh Groban....play it while you read along (This was the only version I could find that didn't have a cheesy powerpoint/slide show of the song).

That's when the tears just flowed.

Not only because of the pictures, but because I could hear the students (there are about 8 of them) saying to each other, "Look...that's you...do you see you in the picture!?" They were so excited to see themselves...and to see each other. Each time the video highlighted one of the students in the class, Cory would run over to that student, pat him/her on the knee and say, "Are you looking at it? That's you!"

I was so overcome with emotion, I almost couldn't handle it anymore.

But I stayed.

Gosh, this song hit me and was like perfectly tuned to my emotions. I'm so thankful for many things. I'm so thankful I was able to go to that today...it comforted my heart. I felt God in my heart as I watched our tender, sweet, Cory and his beautiful class. I think Cory "Let Him In" for me today....

Let Him In, Day 14

Thinking...

I found this awesome quote in one of my notebooks just sort of shoved in a side pocket...

Don't know where I got it-but I loved it.

"Writing helps us know what we think, and think what we know".

I got thinking about this because tonight I was flipping through one of my missionary journals. I couldn't believe how much I testified of Christ on each page-each day. I can't believe it's been over 10 years since I was serving a mission!

I felt so in touch with God in Taiwan. And as I read over the words I had written 10 years ago, I realized it was because I was writing of Him every day...it helped me to "know what I thought, and think what I knew"...if that makes sense.

It does to me.

I was encouraged tonight-I need to testify more of Him...in my journaling and in my speaking. And doing so, I know, will help me to really "think what I know", and Let Him In more and more.

Be a Hero. Save a blog.

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Let Him In, Day 13

Individual, and one-by-one

Tonight while shopping at Smith's, I heard...

"Well you don't say...it's Karen Thomas!"

And then I turned around to see--my third grade teacher, Mrs. Morgan.

I've wondered for years and years why she has remembered my name. Off an on since I was in 3rd grade, Mrs. Morgan has kept in touch with me. She sent me a congratulations card on my senior graduation from Orem High, and then called me when she found out I was teaching-just to see how I was doing with my new job. She sent me an invitation to her wedding when she got married, and then tonight she took time out of her schedule to talk with me about my life for like 45 minutes.

I walked away from the conversation feeling uplifted and loved-and reminded too of how individual she has made things with me--she's always remembered me--since I was 9 years old! As a teacher myself, I hope to always remember my students...and these many years she has remembered me has encouraged me to always be personal with my students--get on their little level, and help them to feel uplifted, and loved.

All because a teacher continued to care for me....

Mrs. Morgan definitely helped me to realize tonight the importance of loving as HE loves...individual, and one-by-one.

Let Him In, Day 12

President Monson

I was listening to a CES fireside today while getting ready and some counsel from President Monson was so clear to me, I thought I'd share.

It's taken me a while to come to terms that we have a new prophet. Not that I doubt revelation from God or how the succession of the new prophet works...it's just been so long with President Hinckley. I have always enjoyed listening to President Monson, but now that he is the prophet, I have started to really try to see him and believe him as that.

I made this commitment this past conference that if there was ever a time he was speaking--whether it be conference, a devotional, CES fireside, etc...I would intently listen. And you know what, ever since I made that goal, I have gained a stronger testimony of him as our dear prophet.

I love President Monson. Here is the counsel....

"If you want to have that feeling within your bosom that your Heavenly Father is guiding you to the left, or guiding you to the right, instructions from this passage will help you: 'Stand ye in holy places and be not moved'. And then the Spirit of our Heavenly Father will be yours".

Perfect counsel...for me. I really needed to hear that today. Listening to a devotional/talk a day lately has really helped me to "Let Him In" more.

Let Him In, Day 11

Comfortable

I've always been a homebody.

Meaning---if I could, I would stay inside all day. My mom always tells me that when I was just a baby they could never take me anywhere-church, the store,...because I would cry the whole time, until, finally, the minute they brought me in the house and then my tantrum would stop!

I'm still that way.

There's something about being inside-safe, warm, protected, and comfortable that I love. I love taking vacations, but it's always the best feeling to walk in the comforts of my own home.

As I sat here at home tonight, I realized how different of a feel my home has lately. I've been through some trials the past few years, and I just realized that working on "Letting Him In"--not just this month, but since 2006-has really blessed my life.

I feel good here. Happy. Comfortable.

I want to make sure this home I live in always has the comfy feeling I love.

Let Him In, Day 10

Encompassed about

So I started a new workout program.

Literally, I think I'm going to die.

I didn't realize how many of the muscles I have NOT been using over the past several, several months of NOT exercising! At work, I had to ask one of my students to pick up something every time I dropped something, or needed to get something...and I'm sure they were thinking, "Gosh, my teacher is really old-she can't do much!"

So when I returned home at around 6 or so, I was so tired, that I was just about ready to go right to bed for the night. It's all I could think about.

Several months ago, my bishop counseled the ward to read the scriptures for an hour a day-and how doing so would help combat sin, temptation, and depression. So I've tried that. I haven't made the goal every day. But the days that I did do that, I did feel a sense of strength greater than my own.

Just as I was about to go to bed, (Yes,-6 p.m. I say) I just knew I needed to read. I'm glad I did. In fact, I always am glad when I do. Something always sticks out, and then I'm grateful I listened.

"...therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters. And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters..."

That just stood out to me. To know that the trials I have are never going to 'cease to blow' my way, but the Lord will always 'bring me forth again upon the top of the waters'.

So maybe this doesn't have anything to do with my sore muscles, but today it made me feel like no matter what I go through, He knows, He understands,

...and He will help me out.

I want to always make room for Him in my inn every day through the scriptures.

Let Him In, Day 9

Selfless

As I was standing in the longest line of the century at the post office today, a girl was using her cell phone to call every single person on the planet! It was one of those times when you get annoyed at people because they talk so loud--and you almost feel as if know the person by the end of their conversation because you hear every minute of it!

Well, I decided to not be annoyed at it, and just 'listen in' :)

What I took from her little conversations was a great lesson.

For the most part, the people that she called, she left messages on their answering machines. But every phone call she made, she ended with, "I just hope things are going well for you-I've been thinking about you a lot, I hope you are doing ok...and just want to tell you how much I care and love you."

I don't do that enough. In fact, I usually don't tell people that-and never on the phone...I think I need to do that more often. And not even just saying the words, "I love you", but just being concerned about the other person...and not think about myself so much.

She was selfless, I think that's how I would describe her.

Let Him In, Day 8

Compassion

Today while I was driving to work, I was listening to a Hilary Weeks CD that has piled up dust in the last two years or so. I completely have forgotten about this song. I know this version is not the Hilary Weeks version (my most favorite), but in all reality, just the words hit me today.

As I listened, I couldn't help but think of my "Let Him In" posts...and the words meant a whole lot more than they ever have. I just hope that I can open my heart more and watch for people around me who are so less fortunate, and that I might notice more often those who are "Not too far from here".

Let Him In, Day 7

Example

So in church, this little 3 year old gets up and barely is able to reach to podium on his tip-toes. After a lengthy high voiced testimony that I couldn't quite understand, I clearly hear him say,

"And I just want you to know that Heavenly Father loves every one of you very much and you are all His children".

What? He's 3? How does he know this-how does he even know to talk like this?

You know, it must be because that is the environment that he has grown up in...and I'm sure as well--he just came that way. This got me thinking how important it is that I am an example to the younger ones around me...my family, my work, my neighbors, church, etc...

And I made a commitment to be more of an example. That's how I can Let Him In a little more-being more of an example just as He is.

Let Him In, Day 6

Awareness

Yesterday I attended my friend Jacques's wedding reception out in Saratoga Springs. I need to post some feelings I had driving out there...

I used to live in Eagle Mountain (near Saratoga). One of my favorite things was watching the sun set and seeing the skyline and the thousands of stars at night. It's almost there as if there is no one out there but you and nature...and it always brought an immense calmness to my heart!

As I drove out there last night, once again I could see that beautiful sunset and feel the serenity I so often felt. I immediately felt peace inside. It's like everything just stopped and I was able to feel. SO many things happened in my life while living there for 4 years...good, and bad. But as I looked at the skyline I was reminded that everything that has happened in my life has brought me closer to God--and more aware of how He truly cares for me.

I want to please Him...and let Him more into my life and be more aware of his hand in every moment of my life. This is a good month to do this!!

Let Him In, Day 5

Becoming like a child

We were coming in from afternoon recess today and one of my little girls, Alisa, was bawling her eyes out. When I asked her what was wrong, through her crying breaths she stated that some girls had called her bad names and made fun of her. I asked her if she believed what they said to her, and she said, "No, but it made me feel really really bad!!" I told her, "Well then, what they said isn't true...you know it, and I know it. So, let's just completely ignore those liars!"

As we walked in the door, I looked back and little Alisa was being comforted by two other girls, Maricruz and Danielle....

"Alisa, don't even listen to them. You're a good person, and you are not what they called you".

She went in with a smile, and I didn't see tears the rest of the day.

I wish sometimes I could be more like a child...Alisa taught me today that I need to just let things like that roll off of my shoulders, and carry on with no tears and a smile.

Let Him In, Day 4

Children

I was at my sister Shari's house tonight and her two youngest, Chandler & Ashley came up to me and straight-away gave me a huge kiss.

I didn't even have to ask!

I was thinking about this, and I started to think about all the kids around me--my students & all of my millions of nieces and nephews--and I realized that I want to be more like them: Christlike, loving, accepting, forgiving, and so many other things.

I don't know if I quite understand why we go from this loving accepting little child, to this unloving-unaccepting adult...where and when does this change actually take place? If I could, I would turn back the clock and find that exact moment where I changed, ...and then change back. But after getting these two kisses today, I realized that I can do that right now....I can love like these two little kids...and all it takes is just a step.

Let Him In, Day 3

Perseverance

I saw this quote on a wall hanging while I was sitting in a collision repair shop today. Not quite sure why it was hanging there in that shop...but I was glad for the reminder:

"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow".

You know how sometimes, you hear something, and then you hear it again somewhere, and then again-maybe somewhat twisted or different-but generally the same meaning....that's what this was for me tonight. It seems like every time I try to conquer a trial or sift through some emotional stuff, or, well...just try to be better at something, I always come back to the meaning of this quote that I have heard from all sorts of people.

So I want to persevere a little more...I think that's one way to "Let Him In"--I need to stretch beyond my stretching ability, work harder and better hours on my thesis, work out better and harder (like Biggest Loser hard), put myself out there in the single scene a little more (ugh), and well--just love beyond how I love right now.

And persevere.

Let Him In, Day 2

A mother's touch

Today while I was at work, we were sitting in an assembly and one of the teachers went to go grab a chair to sit down by her class. As she passed by the class sitting in front of hers, she walked by her son that was sitting on the end of the row.

Just briefly, she rubbed his back and then went to sit with her class.

I watched this boy-a 5th grader, look over at his mom and give her the warmest, biggest smile ever. And I think it made his day.

Five minutes later, one of my students came up to me and said she was having a hard time concentrating-that her eyes were hurting and her brain was spinning. What do you say to that? Before I could say, "Ah...put a cold towel on it!" (our family's favorite phrase when you think the other person is faking it) I briefly remembered the 5th grader and his warm smile...and I reacted different to my little student.

We talked, right in the middle of the assembly...for like 5 minutes. In those short seconds with her, I found out that her brother had escaped and ran away from Juvenille detention and is on the loose somewhere--and nowhere to be found. She's worried sick.

I'm glad I listened. And to my friend teacher...thanks. That sweet mother's touch you gave today reminded me that I need to be more loving to my students.

Let Him In, Day 1

I've decided that since my thankful posts really helped me to be more aware of the many blessings I have in my life-like I never have before...

I'm going to do it again.

Now, no pressure here...I'm not tagging anyone-whatsoever. This really, is just for me.

The other day I came across the phrase, "Let Him In". Now I don't know if it was in the famous Michael McClean song, or on t.v., or on the radio, or wherever,...but somehow the phrase caught my attention. I had just finished up my thankful posts for the month of November, and was kind of thinking about what I was going to do with all of this spare time on my hands from not-blogging so much. And then I realized, nope...I think I need to make this holiday special, just for me.

And if no one but me reads my posts, well then that's ok with me....because honestly, I just want to enjoy the holiday...and make it meaningful. So I have decided to make some room,...for Him. I want everyday to take notice to things I am doing, or not doing--to people around me, situations, experiences,...and decide how I can take what I see or experience this month and change myself a little...let Him in a little more. Hopefully throughout this journey this month I will find myself more involved in Him, and more devoted to Him.

So today's post...is Patience.

I was sitting at the bank at a customer service representative's desk, and she was getting some things printed off for me that I needed--but I needed them a lot quicker than she was actually doing it...and I found myself quietly saying in my mind, "Really? Does this really need to take as long as it is taking? I could do this myself in 2 minutes! Hand me the computer, I'll do it!"

And then I remembered the goal I have for my posts this month. The word "Patience" came to mind, and I started to think about all the things I could be doing instead of complaining....I could talk to her while the computer was taking 49 years to do what it needed to...I could get to know her more. I could thank her for staying open 5 more minutes just for me, while the other customers were turned away because it was 6 p.m.

I could have done a lot of things differently. But I didn't.

But I left telling myself, "I need to let Him in a little more tomorrow....I need to be more like Him."

Patient.

Thankful, Day 28-30

I've decided to do a few more thankful posts to finish out November.

Thankful, Day 30

President Monson.

Today in church, as our bishop got up to close the meeting, he spoke "randomly and freely" (he said) about the importance of believing in the fact that President Monson's is our prophet--right now. And that his counsel for us and the direction he has given us is true, will not change, and that he is a constant force in our lives. I suddenly felt thankful to know that.

To know that I will never be led astray, ever.

I'm thankful for that knowledge. I feel it in my heart that President Monson is our prophet. It's been a rough change for me--not that I didn't believe he was supposed to be our prophet, but I became so attached to President Hinckley. I remember right where I was when I received an assurance that President Monson is our prophet--I was sitting on my couch watching this past conference and President Monson was giving his "Joy in the Journey" talk--and conference was closing. Right after the conference had ended, a special came on that was to highlight the life of President Monson. I cried as I listened. I felt the assurance and testimony I needed to know that he is our prophet.

I'm so thankful for him.

Thankful, Day 29

Being thankful.

I've loved having a purposeful blogging session every day this month, and it's almost sad that the month is over. Thinking about something that I am thankful for every day has made me realize how blessed I really am in my life. I'm thankful that every single day I am now encouraged to get up and think deeply about the blessings I have.

Being more thankful has made me aware of how much I really do have.

Thankful, Day 28

The holiday season.

I put up my tree today. I suddenly realized how quick 2008 has gone. And then I realized, too, that I sure waste a lot of time forgetting to love and serve others throughout the year. I think, too, how quick I am to forget to make room for the Savior in my "inn" when December 25th passes and we move onto a new year.

Suddenly it's December once again, and I am wondering what I should do more of to make room for the Savior in my life.

I only hope that as I have become more thankful for things throughout the month of November, that I can become more thankful for HIM throughout the month of December.

Now, what am I going to post daily throughout this new month during this holiday season? I think I have an idea...